A pawn to his evil intentions

A Pawn To His Evil Intentions...
He held the dagger of betrayal above me aiming towards my heart, taunting me with it. He was very well aware of the power he possessed over me. He knew just how fragile my heart was, because he in fact was the cause of my brittle heart. He carefully chooses which of my painful memories to use against me to weaken me. He was winning this brutal battle of what I once thought was love. Taking every painful stab at me, one after the next.

My life quickly became a game of chess to him. Each and every one of his malicious steps was calculated. He allowed me to build up strength every once and while, but made sure I did not build up too much… in other words, he made sure I sometimes built up enough to fight him, but never enough to win. He did this to make believe it was safe to bring pieces of me out. But then callously, he took piece by piece, slowly creeping across the board (my life). Each piece he deceitfully took from me represented a different part of who I am. The rook represented my friendship, the knight represented my feelings, the bishop represented my faith, and the queen, as my heart. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of this “game” we were playing, so I was not protecting my “king.” The king represented my soul, the very depth of what makes me who I am. And for a brief moment, he almost had me in checkmate.

Suddenly, I was wrapped warmly in a moment of clarity. My eyes were opened wide to not only see, but understand the truth. For so long, I had tortured my own mind, trying to figure out WHY he was doing this to me. During the moment of clarity, the answer was there before my eyes. I was dismayed.

He was no longer fighting to receive my love… he was fighting so no one else would. He knew he could not have back what he had lost. He knows that I for one, believe in love, trust and honor… and he, at his own will striped those qualities from himself in my eyes. He was in fact, tortured himself, because it was gone from him, and he was the cause of it.

But how could a person be so viscous, so cruel, and so heartless to the point where they purposely attempt to destroy another person’s heart, just because they cannot have it themselves? The attempting to destroy me was only so that he may receive a personal guarantee that I would not be able to love another.
For so long, it had worked to his benefit… in fact, evidence proves that it very well might be working still… I am apprehensive about love and afraid to trust. To love is to trust… and to trust is to love. If I cannot trust, does that mean I cannot love? And if I am timid to feel love, does that mean I cannot trust? I want to love & be loved, but it is unattainable for me to experience true romantic love?